I’m Not A Customer, I’m A Wallet/Slave

Dealing with modern business is making us stressed and unhappy – it’s time capitalism did more of the work

pickpocket stealing a wallet

I DID a mega-workout this morning: it was awful.
 
It took me about an hour and a half and has left me feeling like I have been 10 rounds with a Cage Fighter.
 
I have knots in my shoulders, my breathing is shallow and panicked, and I feel a low, eerie, sense of dread – like Van Helsing, when Dracula in Bat Form flies somewhere into the building.
 
Above all, I need – as the Fairy Godmother said in the peerless Shrek 2 – “something deep fried and smothered in chocolate.”
 
So what hellish activity have I been doing? Spin? Cross Training? Milfit? Hot Yoga?
 
No: I’ve just been shopping for stuff on The Internet.

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