I think I’m lazy and useless – but my Fitbit says I’m not
I’VE BEEN STRUGGLING to like myself of late.
The pandemic is putting its tightest-ever squeeze on my mental health right now, even though most of the newspaper talk is about the good times supposedly just around the corner.
My current wobble is because the world has slowed down so much, particularly in the economic sphere.
In hindsight, March 2020 probably wasn’t the ideal time to launch a freelance career in the UK and – though I muddled along for the first six months – work seems to have ground to a halt recently.
But I just don’t know where the blame lies: is it the pandemic, or is it me?
This uncertainty, and the loss of role and income, are all difficult for me to cope with. I find myself snapping more, fretting more, and telling myself what a failure I am more.
I say to myself that I’m floundering because I’m lazy and useless, and then my self-flagellation spills out into other areas of my life.
Suddenly, I’m not happy with the way I look, or behave. Or the way I eat and drink, and skimp on exercise.
But then I stumbled upon the truth – on my Fitbit, of all places.Continue reading “Hyperactive”