Tag: beer

How I Gave My Kids The Beer-o-Virus

~ Mr Shit50s ~ 2 Comments

It isn’t just Covid-19 that’s catching in lockdown London

Original Images: Vektor Kunst and Clker Free Images/Pixabay

BACK WHEN the Coronavirus was just getting warmed up, I woke for a few days in a row with some worrying symptoms.

My throat was tender, my body was hot and sore, and I had a blinding headache.

I started to tell my wife, already imagining being isolated in the top room.

I pictured myself sweating and moaning on the lumpy sofa bed, constant bloody Netflix, meals left outside on trays…

Which was when I remembered the five beers I’d had the night before and realised that I didn’t have Coronavirus: it was just a hangover.

“You’ve got the Beer-o-Virus,” my Better Half declared.

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I’m A Runner, Not A Walker’s

~ Mr Shit50s ~ 3 Comments

I don’t want to be Mr Potato Head any more

A crisp-headed man runs
Original image: StockSnap/Pixabay

I’m thinking seriously about ending one of the longest and most satisfying relationships of my life.

It’s one that’s gone on for longer than my marriage and for more time than I knew my Dad, or my Mum.

But I think it’s finally time that I stopped eating crisps.

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Five Green Bottles

~ Mr Shit50s ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been drinking again, and had no option but to send myself on a punishment run

Five beer bottles and a Strava map

THE TONY ADAMS Memorial Eight Mile Race is not like other running events.  

For a start, the Arsenal and England footballer it’s named after isn’t dead.

Also unlike other races, ‘The Adams’ doesn’t take place at a fixed time every year – but erupts across the athletic calendar on several random days, often in clusters, like zits on a sixteen-year-old’s chin.

And there is only ever one participant: me.

That’s because The Tony Adams Memorial Eight Miler takes place whenever I fall off the wagon and feel the need to punish myself.

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Friday, I’ve Got Lager On My Mind

~ Mr Shit50s ~ Leave a comment

My blood pressure, weight and cholesterol are all up – but I’m struggling to cut down 

A healthy blood pressure reading
Image: Mohamed Hassan/pixabay

WHAT AM I LIKE? It’s 10 o’clock on Friday morning and already I’m thinking about a beer.
 
In my defence, it’s because I haven’t had one for – hang on, let me work it out – eighty-five hours.
 
It’s because I am trying – again – to live a soberer and healthier life. Because, this time, my GP is telling me to.

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